Note: [See original post] noun genders are indicated by colour
It is a bleak Day. Hear the
Rain, how he pours, and the
Hail, how he rattles; and see the
Snow, how he drifts along, and of the
Mud, how deep he is! Ah the poor
Fishwife, it is stuck fast in the Mire; it has dropped its Basket of Fishes; and its Hands have been cut by the Scales as it seized some of the falling Creatures; and one
Scale has even got into its Eye, and it cannot get her out. It opens its
Mouth to cry for Help; but if any
Sound comes out of him, alas he is drowned by the raging of the Storm.
And now a
Tomcat has got one of the
Fishes and she will surely escape with him. No, she bites off a
Fin, she holds her in her Mouth -- will she swallow her? No, the Fishwife's brave
Mother-dog deserts his Puppies and rescues the Fin -- which he eats, himself, as his Reward. O, horror, the
Lightning has struck the
Fish-basket; he sets him on Fire; see the
Flame, how she licks the doomed Utensil with her red and angry Tongue; now she attacks the helpless Fishwife's
Foot -- she burns him up, all but the big
Toe, and even
she is partly consumed; and still she spreads, still she waves her fiery Tongues; she attacks the Fishwife's
Leg and destroys
it; she attacks its
Hand and destroys
her also; she attacks the Fishwife's
Leg(?) and destroys
her also; she attacks its
Body and consumes
him; she wreathes herself about its
Heart and
it is consumed; next about its
Breast, and in a Moment
she is a Cinder; now she reaches its
Neck --
he goes; now its
Chin --
it goes; now its
Nose --
she goes. In another Moment, except Help come, the Fishwife will be no more. Time presses -- is there none to succor and save?
Yes! Joy, joy, with flying Feet the
she-Englishwoman comes! But alas, the generous she-Female is too late: where now is the fated Fishwife? It has ceased from its Sufferings, it has gone to a better Land; all that is left of it for its loved Ones to lament over, is this poor smoldering Ash-heap. Ah, woeful, woeful
Ash-heap! Let us take him up tenderly, reverently, upon the lowly Shovel, and bear him to his long Rest, with the Prayer that when he rises again it will be a Realm where he will have one good square responsible Sex, and have it all to himself, instead of having a mangy lot of assorted Sexes scattered all over him in Spots.
-- Mark Twain, in
The Awful German Tongue (1880)