The Monastic Republic of Mount Athos

I totally did not make it up. Such a place really exists. This republic, occupied by just 1400 monks, is the dead-to-the-world Vatican City of the Eastern Orthodox Church. Being a Greek protectorate, it naturally does not show up on the world map.

The Mount Athos Info Site
Oops. I just had to tell everyone.

Johnny Tarr

Lemme tell you a little story about a man named Johnny Tarr.
He was a hard drinking son of a preacher, he was always at the bar.
Lager from the tap or shots of Paddy from the shelf.
He could open his throttle and throw back a bottle as quick as the devil himself.
Johnny Tarr!

Word got around that Johnny Tarr was no pretender.
From Clare to here they'd lock up the beer when Johnny went on a bender.
Down at Dickey Mack's, the Rising Sun, or at the Swan,
If he was drinking at seven by ten to eleven well all the booze would be gone!
Johnny Tarr!

Chorus:
Even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn't believe it.
And I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you.
I wasn't there. I swear I have an alibi.
I heard it from a man who knows a fellow who says it's true!

It was nine in the morning on a cold rainy night.
Johnny rolled into the Castle Bar, looking to get tight.
He had money in his pocket, he had whiskey in his eye.
He said, "Get up off your asses and set up the glasses. I'm drinking this place dry!"

Now all the serious boozers, they were soon broken hearted,
When Johnny finished off six and he was only getting started.
Guzzling down the pints, knockin' em back like candy.
He was lookin' alright to be drinkin' all night, then Nora brought out the Brandy!
Johnny Tarr!

Chorus

Johnny drank the whole damn bottle, had another pint or two.
When it made no impression he started his session with Murphy's Millenium Brew.
He was waiting for his pint when his face turned green --
Jesus, Johnny fell down after only fifteen!

You could have heard a pin drop, then the crowd let out a ROAR!
It took five Cork women to lift Johnny off the floor!
The doctor looked him over and said, "you better call the hearse,
But it's not what you're thinkin'. It wasn't the drinkin'! This man died of thirst!!"

The Children of Lir - extract

'One day, from their island home of Inish Glora, the children were awakened by a strange sound. It was the ringing of a bell. It was rung by a holy man, a follower of Patrick, who had built a little church on a nearby island. The bell called him to pray each morning and evening. The swans realized their exile was over. They flew to the church and were welcomed by the Christian. From their singing he guessed that they must be the children of Lir, whose story had become legendary. "Your ordeal is over," he said. "A new religion of love has come to Ireland. Through it you will be freed."'


Teachers' Day celebrations, eh? Not much happened this time. Cards went to a lot of teachers, 's all I can remember, wot. Fingers are tired. Can't type much more.

Girl From The North Country -- Bob Dylan

Well, if you're travelin' in the north country fair,
Where the winds hit heavy on the borderline,
Remember me to one who lives there.
She once was a true love of mine.

Well, if you go when the snowflakes storm,
When the rivers freeze and summer ends,
Please see if she's wearing a coat so warm,
To keep her from the howlin' winds.

Please see for me if her hair hangs long,
If it rolls and flows all down her breast.
Please see for me if her hair hangs long,
That's the way I remember her best.

I'm a-wonderin' if she remembers me at all.
Many times I've often prayed
In the darkness of my night,
In the brightness of my day.

So if you're travelin' in the north country fair,
Where the winds hit heavy on the borderline,
Remember me to one who lives there.
She once was a true love of mine.

We Can Rule You Wholesale

We can rule you wholesale is the national anthem of the fictional city state of Ankh-Morpork in the Discworld series of fantasy novels by Terry Pratchett.

It was not written by a native Ankh-Morporkian, but by the visiting vampire Count Henrik Shline von Überwald (born 1703, died 1782, also died 1784, 1788, 1791, 1802, 1804, 1807, 1808, 1821, 1830, 1861, finally staked 1872). His inspiration came from his observations that Ankh-Morpork's chief means of defence was not warfare but corruption, bribery and mercantile tactics, since most the weapons used against the city were actually made there in the first place.

The anthem is particularly noteworthy for being the only one that has a second verse officially constisting of incoherent muttering. Count von Uberwald had also made the observation that any group of people singing their country's national anthem never remembers how the second verse goes anyway, so he decided to make things easier for Ankh-Morpork.

In formal occasions, the anthem is supposed to be performed by a large soprano singer wearing a sheet and holding a torch in one hand and a fork in the other.

"When dragons belch and hippos flee
My thoughts, Ankh-Morpork, are of thee
Let others boast of martial dash
For we have boldly fought with cash
We own all your helmets, we own all your shoes
We own all your generals - touch us and you'll lose.
Morporkia! Morporkia!
Morporkia owns the day!
We can rule you whoselsale
Touch us and you'll pay.

We bankrupt all invaders, we sell them souvenirs
We ner ner ner ner ner, hner ner hner by the ears
Er hner we ner ner ner ner ner
Ner ner her ner ner ner hner the ner
Er ner ner hner ner, nher hner ner ner (etc.)
Ner hner ner, your gleaming swords
We mortgaged to the hilt
Morporkia! Morporkia!
Hner ner ner ner ner ner
We can rule you wholesale
Credit where it's due."

The final part of the anthem is usually sung much louder than the rest of the second verse, since the singers want to show they know the words...

The anthem was actually written in 1999 by Pratchett (words) and Carl Davis (music), for the BBC Radio 3 programmme The Music Machine. It was performed by the BBC Scottish Symphony Orchestra and the soprano was Clare Rutter. It was also performed at that year's Proms by the Prommers' Orchestra and Chorus.

-- from wordiq.com