August 07 2006: The last pillar under thy marble roof has been sold for funds. Now wait for thy marble roof to crash down around thee.
August 08 2006: Quite surprisingly the leaden roof has not fallen for its loss of all its pillars; it has been supported from above... me suspended on a cord thrown down from heaven, holding me and my desperate, flailing limbs.
I feel as if I have, finally, lost everything. Which means that I have got nothing more to lose. Time to face adversary and hoist it by the neck. Take your troubles, the causes of your desperation, the ones bent on your demise, the demon of your own thoughts, and give them full hell!
I don't feel bad at all. I feel good. Terribly good, about this newfound sole dependence on the Almighty; His glory shines through my weakness. Terrible because I have been flushed with strength apparently from nowhere; good because I know He alone is there to save me whatever goes. When He raises me up from the depths all I need to do is to keep the faith running...
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